I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
