Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
