I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
