We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
