im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
