he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
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My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
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FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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