The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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