All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
How's work?
Spinning.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
