come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
