We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Randomize
