omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
