nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
my liver is dry heaving
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
