My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I don't want my vagina anymore.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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