If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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