love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
