The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Randomize
