maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
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Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
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I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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