I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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