did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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