hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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