Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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