I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him