i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.