I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
At least make sure they are 18
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
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Don't worry. I has chaperone.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
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thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.