her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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