She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
ok first of all what the fuck
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
