none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Randomize