She is in my trunk
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize