she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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