oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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