I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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