she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize