oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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