I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
