I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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