I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
