if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I don't deserve a penis
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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