non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
