I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
