Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
