Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
no you cant smoke seaweed
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
