just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
no you cant smoke seaweed
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
