So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
So. Much. Porn.
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