Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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