Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
