It's like God shit irony all over that family
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
