Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
