Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
