No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
It's rum buckets o'clock
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
