Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
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