discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
