No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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