I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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