yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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