I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
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