so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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