Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
We need to rekindle our bromance
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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