Just took my morning after pill in the library
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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