hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
