she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
