You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
