Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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