It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
